BUTTER BURGER

Butter Burger Recipe (feeds 6)
2 lbs ground beef
½ stick unsalted butter (frozen)
mixture dried herbs
Low sodium Worcestershire Sauce
Salt and pepper 

1. Procure your meats. At my grocery store I was able to get a pound of ground sirloin and a pound of ground chuck. It wasn’t artisanal quality, but it was pretty good!

2. Plop the meat into a mixing bowl. To paraphrase Emeril, where I get my meat from, it don’t come seasoned. For two pounds of meat I added one tablespoon of salt, then half a tablespoon of black pepper. In my cabinet I grabbed a bunch of dried spices that may or may not have been in there for years. I added half a tablespoon each of garlic powder, onion powder, thyme, oregano, and basil. Dried spices are ideal here because they aren’t going to burn or be raw in your finished product.

3. I wanted more flavor, so I added a tablespoon of low-sodium Worcestershire sauce. Soy sauce would be good, as well.

4. BUTTER! Grab that box grater you’ve had for years which is missing one of its feet and grate your frozen butter. I used the medium-sized holes and got little golden curls, which looked a bit like cheese curds. They tend to coagulate as they start melting, so scrape them into the meat and get to work forming your burgers into hockey puck-sized discs. If you don’t know what size a hockey puck is, instead aim for a patty the size of one side of a Beats By Dre headphone.

5. Get cooking. Firing up a grill or using a pan on the stove actually isn’t all that different, in that you basically want the burger over really high heat for about 4 minutes per side, so that you get a crusty exterior with a medium rare interior. The best advice I can impart is once you set the burger down, YOU DO NOT TOUCH IT EXCEPT TO FLIP IT OVER. DO NOT PRESS ON IT WITH YOUR SPATULA AND SQUEEZE ALL OF THE WONDERFUL JUICES OUT OF IT YOU HORRIBLE SAVAGE. LEAVE YOUR MEAT ALONE.

6. How you dress your burger is up to you. I’m good with cheese, ketchup and mustard, lettuce, tomato, and a slice of red onion. But I won’t judge you. Just EAT!